Building positive relationships with preschool parents; an interview with Teacher Tom

Building positive relationships with preschool parents

An interview with Tom Hobson

by Deborah J. Stewart

 Tell me about your preschool program and the ages you teach.

We are a cooperative preschool with a play-based curriculum. I teach a class of 3-5 year olds and class of 2-year-olds.

What is your background as it relates to early childhood and what is the length of time you have been teaching preschoolers?

I've been a preschool teacher for 8 years, all at Woodland Park. I spent 3 years as a parent in my daughter's co-op preschool and was recruited by her teacher and the director of the North Seattle Community College parent education program to enter the profession. I subsequently did course work at the college. In my earlier life, I coached 40+ baseball teams with players ranging in age from 4-30 (seriously). In many ways, this experience had more influence on my teaching style/approach than anything else.

What are some of the ways parents participate in your classroom?

We are a cooperative preschool so parents are required to work in the classroom one day per week. Parents are assigned classroom jobs (e.g., art, drama, table toys, blocks, snack, sensory, library) on a rotating basis. The college provides us with a parent educator who is in the classroom once a week and who runs a parent ed class once a month (for which parents receive college credit) to help parents become better "assistant teachers." Parents also understand that I may need them to take on additional classroom jobs as needs arise. I love having all those extra arms and legs!

As you work with parents, what are some effective techniques you have found for building positive relationships with the family members of your preschool students?

I know that this isn't the kind of answer you're looking for, but the "techniques" I use with parents are the same as I use for making friends. I'm friendly and give them lots of genuine compliments. I listen to them and try to give honest answers. There is something bonding about working side-by-side with parents on a weekly basis. Education in our school is not something I do for their kids, but rather something we are all working on together. We have good days together and bad days together. They see how hard I'm working to educate their kids and have a clear picture of the challenges teachers face.

I suppose if there is any one technique I use it's to talk to every parent, every day about whatever is on their mind or my mind, even if it has nothing to do with school or kids. Not a practical thing in a traditional school, but an inevitable thing in our school!

As an early childhood educator, do you also invite members of your community to get involved in your preschool program?

In addition to parents being not just invited, but required, to be in the classroom, our doors are always open to grandparents, aunts, uncles, and other teachers. We often have several extra adults in the room with us. We also have occasional visits from people like fire fighters, dancers and artists. We also go on monthly field trips, usually to local businesses or community groups, like food banks. There is paperwork involved in permitting older siblings into class, but whenever we get the chance, we fill the room with those older kids as well.

What are some effective techniques you have found for building positive relationships with members of your community?

Well, I have my blog, although I don't think many of the parents read it -- I think they sometimes need a break from Teacher Tom!

We use Yahoo Groups to stay in touch with one another. In addition to working in the classroom, each family is also responsible for an "outside" the classroom job, like serving as treasurer, secretary, admissions person, repairs/maintenance, etc. One of those jobs is "special events." That person organizes social events for entire families as well as parents-only throughout the year and even during the summer.

We've also found that our all-hands-on-deck work "parties" (three times a year) and special projects (like re-doing our playground) are great community building activities.

Do you have any other comments you would like to add or that you think other preschool teachers would benefit from regarding building relationships with families and members?

In my mind, progressive education starts with community. Or as Alfie Kohn puts it, "Progressive education is marinated in community." This concept is at the heart of our school. I couldn't, frankly, care less about things like "best practices," pedagogy and theory. As long as we have a unified, robust community, one that draws newcomers quickly into its center, the children WILL get a good education and be ready for kindergarten. I know you've been reading the blog -- I got confirmation last week that my families understand this and agree whole-heartedly.

I have been reading Teacher Tom’s Blog on a daily basis for awhile now and what I find most remarkable is Tom’s consistent reflection on the needs, role, and concerns of the parents who work with him on a daily basis. When Tom states that he could “care less about things like best practices,” I know from reading his blog that this is because applying best practices in his classroom is second nature to him and he does so almost without thinking about it. Building a community of families that care about early childhood education and care about each other is where the real challenge lies. Tom’s teaching style and the parents of Woodland Park are a wonderful example of “Progressive education [being] marinated in community.”  

Overcoming frustration through the creative process

On occasion, my daughter invites several young families to my house for a life group meeting. The families bring their children and when I think about it, I try to provide an activity for the preschool age children to do. 

On this particular evening, only two young boys came. Having seen all the wonderful ideas on tape creativity by Teacher Tom and others, I decided to try it myself. I set out several rolls of colored tape, some paper, and some crayons on the dining room table. I left the paper and tape there to see if the boys would notice it - kind of like setting up an interest center.

Eventually the boys wondered in the room and inqured about the tape and paper. I didn't give any specific directions, I just helped the boys pull out a strip of tape and they began to stick the tape to the paper. 

The younger of the two brothers became immediately frustrated because his tape got all tangled and he wanted to quit. I said, "let's try again only this time, you pull on the end of the tape." He pulled on the end of the tape and then looked up at me. He then pulled a little more and looked at me again...  then a little more... and a little more... then he said "I'm finished."  I tore the end off and he worked to get the tape stuck to the paper but once again, it got rather tangled.

This time, however, instead of getting frustrated, he quickly asked for another color of tape. Again, I held the end, and he pulled... and pulled.  Then he discovered that if he stood still and I walked backwards, he could even get a longer strip of tape. He directed me around the room and then would eventually say "stop." After a few times of this, he decided that he rather have shorter pieces of tape so he could stick them to his paper.

Meanwhile, the older brother caught on quickly. I started to show the older brother how to tear the tape with his fingers but he found out that if he pulled really hard, the tape would snap apart. He wasn't interested in hearing about my two finger tearing tape apart technique:) Both of the boys discovered something about the process that interested them and both of them were engaged in the process.

I want to make sure that everyone understands the key point here. It wasn't making the picture that was fun at first. What made this activity fun was manipulating the tape. Once the boys figured out how to manipulate the tape, then they began to have an interest in creating their picture.

The younger brother no longer became frustrated with the project once he was given freedom to just explore the tape. Now it was a fun idea and in the process he began to learn how to manipulate the tape. The younger brother went from giving up to being engaged - from having a lack of tape handling skills to being quite proficient - all in a matter of 20 to 30 minutes of time.

As we manipulated and created with tape, the parents came upstairs that they got involved too. In the end, both brothers made a wonderful tape picture and gave it to their dad as a present.

I enjoyed the process too. I learned that I don't need to teach kids how to create. Instead - I just need to facilitate the opportunity and then take note of what types of learning are taking place as the process unfolds.

Deborah


View more on what kids learn from experiences with tape....  

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Leaves and Branches, and Trunks and Roots

Top five professional behaviors preschool teachers should know

Let's put a positive spin on professional behavior in early childhood education. Why worry about professional behavior? Professionalism brings about respect, trust, and credibility. Your parents, coworkers, and students will all benefit from your ability to carry yourself in a professional manner.

Here are the top five professional behaviors to practice in your preschool program.

1. Do communicate respectfully and consistently with your parents. Preschool parents rely on teachers to not only care for and educate their children, they also need their feedback and support. Communicate with parents through a variety of ways such as neatly writing daily reports, sending out memos, posting daily lesson plans, holding parent/teacher conferences, hosting parent nights and other special events.

2. Do plan and prepare for your class. This includes making sure lesson plans are completed and supplies are gathered before class begins each day. When preschool teachers are prepared, they are more able to handle the curves thrown at them throughout each day. When preschool teachers are prepared, they are also able to focus on the needs of their students more fully.

3. Do dress professionally. This does not mean you need to wear high heels or a suit and tie. What this does mean is to dress in a manner that reflects your seriousness about education and being a great teacher. Take care of yourself and select clothing that compliments your professional goals.

4. Do care about the setup and cleanliness of your classroom environment. Your classroom is a reflection of you and impacts the needs and education of your students. Be creative, neat, clean, and organized. Display children's artwork in attractive and eye-catching places. Make sure toys are not broken and shelves are not cluttered. A great learning environment takes commitment and is a sign of a true professional.

5. Do invest time in professional development training, courses, conferences, research, and networking. Spend time looking on the internet for new ideas or talking to other teachers about their great ideas. Attend local and national conferences when able. Your time in personal growth as an early childhood educator will be a huge benefit to yourself, your parents, your coworkers, and especially - your preschoolers.

To see the top five unprofessional behaviors click here!

What can you learn about music and fingerplays?

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Top five unprofessional behaviors preschool teachers should avoid

Preschool teachers come into contact with parents on a daily basis and professional behaviors make the difference between good teachers and exceptional teachers. This article will take a look at behaviors that should always be avoided by preschool teachers.

Unprofessional behaviors

Unprofessional behavior can impact the respect and welfare of children, parents, peers, co-workers, and administrators. Some unprofessional behaviors include:

Gossip - gossiping about children, parents, or other teachers is at the top of the list because it is one of the most destructive behaviors in the preschool environment. Talking about such topics as who is dating who, who is getting a divorce, which child behaves badly, which teacher is always late, what parent never pays on time, and so forth is gossip. It is not unusual for parents and co-workers to want to know the scoop but a professional teacher always respects the privacy of others.

Labeling - labeling children or parents can cause considerable damage to a child's future in education and can be quite hurtful to parents. Labeling is essentially making the non-clinical assumptions about a child's development. For example, you might be thinking that a child in your class is overly active and begin to tell other teachers that the child is hyper. If the label "hyper" sticks, then others will begin to assume that this child has a problem.

Seriously avoid labeling. Common labels can include: lazy, slow, hyper, mean, disruptive, challenging, and so on. If you have a concern about a child's development, discuss it with the parent in a respectful manner but steer away from ever labeling a child. Labels can last a lifetime.

Complaining to parents

Never, ever complain to parents about your personal life, your health, your coworkers, your employers, your students, and the other parents in your class. There will be parents that show a genuine interest in these things and you might think "what harm does it do?" Your complaints make parents unsure in your ability and less confident that their child will be okay. Parents need to leave feeling that their child is in a safe, loving, secure environment. Complaining undermines their confidence that this is always true.

Excessive Absenteeism

Preschool students build important bonds with their teachers and rely on their teachers to be present. When teachers call in and miss work, it impacts every student in the classroom as well as parents, other staff, and school administrators. Everyone has to make adjustments because the children will still be there even when you're not.

Preschoolers learn best when they are in an environment where they feel loved, secure, safe, and respected. The child's bond with his or her preschool teacher plays a critical role in achieving these feelings. Excessive absenteeism is a huge disruption to a successful learning environment.

Sloppy Handwriting and Misspelled Words

Preschool teachers play many roles but they are most certainly educators. As educators, it is incredibly important for teachers to double check all written communication for spelling and all handwritten communication for neatness.

Check for spelling on every memo, chart, daily report, lesson plan, bulletin board display, email, blog post, and facebook post. Get in the habit of spelling correctly and when in doubt about how to spell a word - then look it up.

Make sure best handwriting practices are used for all preschool related communications. Don't scribble a child's name on the paper, print it clearly and neatly. Make sure handwritten reports can be read by taking the time to write neatly. Use good grammer and sentence structure. Avoid slang terminology and texting type language such as darn, ain't, lol, luv, and so on.

What are the top five professional behaviors teachers should know?
What is a fingerplay?
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